I was promoted in my early twenties to lead a team whose average age was over 45. I did what most new leaders do: I performed my expertise loudly and enthusiastically. It did not go well. Here's what I learned from an ugly cry and a very honest friend.

Nobody warns you that receiving feedback is a skill. We spend a lot of time teaching people how to deliver it well, but the person sitting across the table trying to keep their face neutral while their brain spirals? They're mostly on their own. Here's how to change that.

When someone says, “I have some feedback for you,” many of us feel it instantly, sweaty palms, tightened chest, racing thoughts. That reaction isn’t weakness. It’s your nervous system scanning for threat. Constructive feedback can trigger concerns about status, certainty, and belonging. The good news? With the right approach, leaders can reduce defensiveness and turn feedback into growth instead of fear.